坦白后的日子,我和小雅的关系似乎更亲密了,但我的幻想却像野草般疯长。
我开始在网上浏览成人论坛,偷偷联系了一些单男。
每次点开他们的照片,看到那些自诩“能力强大”的男人,我的自卑感就像潮水般涌来,但我又无法停下。
最终,我选中了一个叫小唐的男人。
他三十出头,身高一米八五,体格健壮,帅气的脸庞带着一丝痞气。
他在私讯中毫不掩饰地说自己的阴茎有十八公分,还发来了照片证明。
那根粗壮的东西在照片中狰狞挺立,青筋盘绕,我看着,心脏狂跳,既是嫉妒,又是某种病态的兴奋。
我把小唐的资料给小雅看时,她皱了皱眉,眼神里闪过一丝犹豫。
“阿伦,你确定要这样吗?我怕……怕我们会后悔。”她的声音里带着担忧,但更多的是对我的爱。
我握住她的手,假装坚定地说:“小雅,我想试试。只要你愿意,我什么都可以接受。”
其实,我在撒谎。我并不确定自己能不能接受,我只是被那股黑暗的欲望驱使着,无法停下。
小唐第一次来我们家时,我几乎喘不过气。
他比照片里更具压迫感,穿着紧身T恤,肌肉线条清晰可见,笑起来带着一股自信,甚至有些轻佻。
他和小雅握手时,我注意到他的手掌几乎盖住了小雅纤细的手指。
那一刻,我的心像被什么东西狠狠捏了一把。
晚餐时,小唐侃侃而谈,讲着他的旅行经历和健身故事,声音低沉而有磁性。
小雅偶尔附和,笑得温柔而礼貌,但我看得出她的眼神有些闪躲,却又带着一丝好奇。
我试图加入话题,却总觉得自己像个局外人。
饭后,小唐提出去客厅喝点酒,我点头同意,却没想到,这是噩梦的开始。
那天晚上,小唐和小雅在客厅聊了很久,我坐在一旁,手里的酒杯越来越重。
当小唐的手不经意地搭在小雅的肩膀上时,她红着脸,低头笑了笑,眼神里闪过一丝羞涩与期待。
我的心脏像是被什么东西挤压,但我竟然没有阻止,反而感到一阵莫名的兴奋。
那一刻,我知道,我已经踏进了深渊。
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